A Tribute to Mickey

This past Sunday (December 30, 2018) was one of the toughest days of my life. I’ve been agonizing over writing this for two days (has it only been two days?) as my heart is broken and I know I’ll cry the whole time I’m writing. But I’m hoping this will give me some needed closure.

Our little Mickey died Sunday night around 6:00. It was a tough day for all of us. We could tell his little body was starting to fail him. Finally, after he collapsed on the floor, we took him to pet emergency. An hour later, he was gone. I was able to hold him as he took his last breath.

In some ways, I feel we failed him. Were we doing the right things for him? Did we try everything we could? He trusted us to take care of him. Did he know we were trying or did he hate us for squirting all those medicines down his throat? I hope with time I can forgive myself and realize we did all we could. It’s just too hard right now.

More than “just a cat”

I know, some would say he was “just a cat”. Get over it. But he was more than that to me. He was one of my BFFs. Since I’ve been retired, we’ve spent every day together.

While Mickey was 14 years and 8 months old when he died, he was mine for only 3 1/2 years. But I felt like he’d been mine forever. He never was and never will be “just a cat”.

I said this was a tribute, so I want to focus on the happy and good times we had with Mickey. However, I know this won’t do him justice.

Mickey didn’t have a big personality like Brutus so I can’t come up with all these funny and cute things he did. Brutus sometimes picked on him but that didn’t stop Mickey from loving him. He had a good heart and always tried to be good.

He was the sweetest boy and I can still see him in my mind. I’ve spent the last two days looking at all the pictures I’ve taken, hoping they’ll make me feel like he isn’t gone.

Lesson learned – take lots of pictures, especially of the everyday things. How I wish I had a picture of us cuddling in my reading chair. It was our morning ritual. And sometimes, later in the day, I could tell when he wanted more cuddle time, so I’d sit down, he’d jump up, curl up next to me and I’d rub his tummy.

I wish I had a picture of him sleeping on my red slippers. I guess that will just have to be a memory, where every time I look at those slippers, I see Mickey in my mind. And each time I slip them on, I’ll be honoring Mickey.

How I will always remember Mickey

I’ve mentioned before that Mickey was quiet and somewhat of a loner. Maybe that’s why he and I bonded, since I’m a lot like that. Sure, I wish he’d spent more time with us, but I understood his need for alone time. That meant it was extra special when he spent an evening downstairs with us or curled up with me in my recliner.

The only time Mickey wasn’t so quiet was when he wanted a treat. He could actually get kind of bossy!! I’m doing laundry today and it reminds me of him sitting there looking at me, chirping away as if to say “stop doing that and give me my treat”.

Mickey showed his love in many ways. He would lick me, he’d open and close his eyes when I talked to him, and he’d rub his head against me. I always talked to him a lot. (Brutus too.) I think they both liked hearing their names and over the years, they became better at responding to it.

Going on

Today’s our first “regular” day without the Mick. It’s just me and Brutus rattling around the house. I can tell Brutus looks for him, but I also think he knows this isn’t like when Mickey spent the night away in November.

I was doing pretty well yesterday until we put Brutus to bed and he started crying. He’s always done some of that, but this was different. It sounded sadder. Or maybe it was just me projecting my sadness onto him.

I know it’s only been two days but it seems like forever. We’ll all eventually recover and Mickey will become a happy memory. But the pain is still raw. Poor Tim. He had to go into the vet’s office today. I don’t know that I could have done that.

There will be a couple more tough times to come. I finally ordered a cat water fountain, hoping it would help Mickey drink more. That’s scheduled for delivery today. Not sure if we’ll keep it for Brutie or send it back. (Brutus already likes to play in his water bowl; this might be more than we can handle.) And we opted to get Mickey’s ashes, which should be ready next week.

We like to think Mickey is better off. And he probably is. It’s us having a hard time. We still have Brutus who appears to be going strong and who won’t let us forget he’s around!! But we have to remember, he’s lost his lifelong buddy.

I’m going to share several pictures, so if you don’t care to see them, you can stop reading now. I know they won’t mean much to most of you, but this is a tribute so I have to include pictures of Mickey’s life.

Mickey and his sleeping spots

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Mickey’s typical days

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Rest in peace little Mickey. We love you. ❤❤❤❤❤