Life Happens

February 14, 2020 36 Comments

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

John Lennon

It’s unclear whether this is truly a John Lennon original, but he seems to get most of the credit for it. I have to use it today because it’s so descriptive of my life right now.

It’s been two weeks since I posted anything and I wanted to let everyone know why. On February 1, my mom fell down the stairs at home, resulting in a cracked skull, a brain bleed and now bruising, and two broken ribs.

I’ve been at the hospital every day since it happened so as you can imagine, I’m getting a little weary. Right now, it’s hard to find time to wash dishes and do laundry, so impossible to get anything else done. I have a bit of a break today – my sister is taking the day shift – so I’m trying to get caught up. But even most of that is related to this – doing my mom’s laundry, helping my dad pull together their tax information

I need to emphasize – my sister and brother-in-law are putting in just as much time as I am. Teri and I take shifts (she’s still working) and Dave is taking care of my dad by getting him there in the mornings, picking him up, and making sure he eats at night.

So, this won’t be a long post. Just enough to let you know I’m still here but I can’t predict when I’ll have time to write again. Her recovery from the brain injury will be slow. We’re in the process of determining what happens next, as the rehab she’s currently in is too much for her.

Then there’s deciding what happens when her rehab is finished. They can’t live in their house anymore. In fact, they should have already moved to something with one level. What’s ironic is, my dad needed that worse than my mom and she’s the one who got hurt.

After all the things she’s been through these last two years – cancer, bowel blockage, knee replacement – it’s hard to believe anything else could happen to her.

Right now, my life is pretty much on hold. It’s tough, though, because Tim just had his bicep tendon surgery right before all this happened, and he really needs me around. He’s been a good sport and has managed very well, but I feel bad that I haven’t been here for him as I’d planned.

See, life happens despite the plans you make.

I promise I’ll be back. I miss blogging and reading other blogs.

Thanks for sticking with me.

36 thoughts on “Life Happens”

  1. Your mom has always been one of my favorites, such a sweet happy lady. it is so difficult to imagine these things happening to our parents but the reality is, they do. I’ve been in your shoes with my in-laws and my parents. Not really something you can prepare for. You and the rest of your family are doing such a good job. Big decisions coming for all, but just take it day by day. Praying and hoping for calmer seas soon! Take time for yourself, even if it’s five minutes here and there, it’s difficult to not run yourself ragged. Not many people understand the stresses of caregiving. Give yourselves some grace!

    1. Thanks so much for the flowers. The tulips are so springy and we need a little hope of spring right now.

  3. So sorry to hear of your mom’s fall and injuries. I am praying for your parents, you and your family. Life changes are difficult. Wishing you the best.

  4. Very sorry to hear about your mom’s accident. So hard when a parent is injured or ill and challenging to be there for everyone. Praying for strength and healing for all of you.

    1. Thanks Denise. It is tough to be there for everyone and still feel like you have a life. We’re with the grandkids today which is a good distraction!!

  5. Thinking of you and your family, Linda, during these challenging times. How awesome that you and Teri are nearby and able to support your mom and dad in this time of great need. One day at a time. And remember to ask yourself “is this a glass ball? or a rubber ball?” It’s okkk to let the rubber ones bounce!!! Really!! And it’s ok and healthy actually to take A little time regularly for your own self care!! Maybe you and Teri can hold each other accountable on this! As it’s a must!! xo

    1. Thanks Carrie. We do need to find time for ourselves. I think that will be easier as she gets better. I think we might be getting closer.

  6. Thanks for explaining your absence and best wishes to you and your family. Sounds like you all are all thinking this through together.

  7. So sorry to hear about your mom and so it’s so hard on your dad, especially if they have to move..they are very lucky to have you and Teri! It’s hard watching our folks get old, mine aren’t together and it makes it hard on my dad to drive everyday to see her…take care of you (and Tim)! I love reading your blogs, keep us posted on your folks, take care…

    1. Thanks Linda. It is so tough watching them struggle. I bet it is tough on your dad to have to drive to see her. Not sure yet what our situation will be. Thanks so much for reading my blogs. ❤️

  8. They say things happen in threes. I don’t know who “They” are but more often than not the saying is true. I hope the busyness of your life right now settles down soon and all is well again.

    1. Hmmm. You mean there’s still something else coming? I’ve heard that expression before and hope “they” are wrong this time!! I’m definitely ready for some calm.

  9. Take the time you need, the blog will wait!

    I was so thankful that I had recently retired when my mom needed support following necessary back surgery. She needed 24/7 attendance as we decided to bring her home instead of going to a rehab. They trained me to get her in/out of bed, how to lift her, etc. I was there for 3 weeks and yes, it was draining, especially as she didn’t sleep through the night most of that time.

    I encourage you to ask for support, and allow others to help. Have a list of things, so if someone says “how can I help?”, you look at the list … instead of saying everything is fine. Folks can come and sit for 2 hours and chat or read out loud, do grocery shopping/laundry/cleaning, bring a dinner. People want to help but never really know how.

    Best wishes for her recovery.

    1. I don’t know what I would do if I were still working. My sister is but her husband is retired and he’s been a huge help. We can’t take care of her on our own, that’s for sure. So the big question becomes how much time should we spend with her. Right now, it’s more about supporting my dad. This has really rattled him and he needs our calming influence. Several friends have offered just the things you’ve mentioned and I know they are serious. I just keep thinking we can get by but I may have to give in. It’s tough when my husband can’t drive yet which means he can’t run errands while I’m at the hospital. We’ll get through it, I know. Thanks for your encouraging words.

  10. Oh my heavens, a rocky start to the new year. Your story shows a tight-knit family working together. Through all the pain and problems, love is the force that gets all of you through this. My very best to you and everyone in your family.

    1. Thanks so much Bob. It’s certainly a benefit to have family to share the responsibilities. We are definitely in it together.

  11. LInda, I am so sorry to hear about your mom! You have a lot on your plate! Do what you have to do right now, but also take some time to just be by yourself and breathe. Even 5 minutes calms everything and renews your spirit. I’ll keep everyone in my prayers.

    1. Thanks so much. When I feel the stress coming on, I definitely take a minute to calm myself. It does help. Appreciate the prayers. ❤️

    1. Thanks Joe. I’ve been lucky that my parents were young when they had me but now it’s tough watching them get old.

  15. So sorry for all that’s going on with your family. I hope your Mother gets better soon.🙏 Your family has a lot of tough decisions ahead and I hope it goes smoothly for you and your parents. Remember to take care of yourself! Does she have friends who can come sit with her so you can take a break? Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

    Beth

    1. Thanks Beth. Yes, we do have a lot to get through and my dad needs our help. I think once we get her settled somewhere closer to home, having her friends come is a great idea. I know they would. And I hope that eventually we won’t feel the need to have someone there all the time. We can’t keep it up.

  16. I am so sorry for your family. Lots going on with you right now. Yes, your life can change “in a blink of an eye”
    Take care of yourself too.
    My thoughts are with you!

    1. Thanks Nickie. We get to spend time with the grandkids this weekend and I’m hoping that distracts me for a while. Need a little normalcy!!

  17. How terrible! I’m so sorry for all the pain your family is experiencing.

    As for writing, I urge you to keep the blog up, even if you don’t post. I had another blog years ago and was going through a terrible time at work. I did not have the emotional strength to write, so I shut down the blog. I wish I had just left it up and took a break.

    Take care of yourself.

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