A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook recently. I’ve always loved this quote. It’s been important to remember throughout my life when things weren’t going quite as I’d hoped. And then another blogger shared a post about giving up our dreams. Together, they made me think about my life and dreams and the story I’m living.
My dream, if I go way back in life, was to find the right guy, get married, and have children. It seems so simple especially since many people get this without even trying. At what point do you realize this dream will never come true and decide to strive for something else?
For me, it wasn’t a conscious thought. You just live your life and continue to hope you’ll find what you’re looking for. Until you reach that point where you realize it isn’t ever going to happen. Then you accept your life and hopefully, have new dreams to keep you going.
It’s a good thing I was able to let go of that dream. Sometimes I wonder if it was God’s way of telling me I wasn’t cut out for that. I was supposed to be alone and a “career woman”. It never felt quite right, though, especially the alone part. Not because I couldn’t handle it, but I always felt like I had more to offer.
The beginning of my reality
I was never good at finding love. Maybe it’s my introvert personality; I wasn’t the life of the party or the one who immediately caught anyone’s attention. And unfortunately, it seems to take that when you’re younger and trying to attract someone to make a connection.
I had hoped to meet someone in college, but that didn’t happen either. I met some nice guys but none of them turned into love. Shortly after graduation and I started my new job, I met someone. I think deep down I knew he wasn’t the right one, but I convinced myself I was in love with him. Our marriage lasted four years.
My dream seemed to come true after that when I met someone who I thought was the love of my life. After three years, he decided I wasn’t the right one for him. This loss hurt more than my divorce. Looking back 34 years now, I can be more objective about him and our relationship. We really didn’t have the same values and life goals, but we sure had fun for a while!!
At 30, I was back in the dating world and it wasn’t promising. I never really gave up on my dream, but I also decided I had to live my life the way it was. I bought a house and moved on. I had good friends to spend time with, I focused on my job, and while there were definitely some lonely times, I was busy and happy.
Living my story
I’m not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me. I’ve had a great life. Absolutely no regrets. All those years while my friends were raising their children, I was traveling and doing the things I love to do without those responsibilities.
I was able to spend money while also saving as much as I could. Expenses are easier to manage when it’s just you. And I’ve always been a pretty frugal person. I never lived beyond my means.
So my dream became retirement and making sure I could quit work at a relatively early age and live comfortably. That dream is now my reality. I have no complaints.
Now that I’m older, I think about the dream of my younger self. The situation with my parents has definitely made me think about my own situation and I wonder who will be helping me someday. That’s not the right reason to have kids, but the reality is, we will all need help at some point in our lives.
I suppose you could say I’ve achieved some of that dream. Marrying Tim has made me a grandmother. And while I couldn’t love those kids any more than if they were my own, the fact is, they aren’t my own. It shouldn’t matter, I know. But there are times when it’s clear I’m really not their grandmother. It’s simply a fact.
Is it too late to dream?
Have I reached the point in my life when I no longer have dreams? I hope not.
I know I want to make the most of the next 20 years and enjoy each day to its fullest. But is that a dream?
COVID has put a halt to many of the things I’ve dreamed about. No snowbirding in Florida in 2021. We hesitate to plan any trips because who knows when we can take them. We can’t even visit my parents and they can’t visit each other!!
Life isn’t fair. We each have our own reality that doesn’t quite fit our dream or the picture of what we thought life would be like. It’s easy to assume everyone else has it better, right? But maybe someone is looking at you and thinking you don’t have it so bad!!
The key is to focus on what’s gone right with my life because there’s been so much good in it. And I know there’s more good to come.
So what if my dreams never come true. It’s still fun to dream about what could be as long as I don’t let that destroy the joy I get from the life I’m living.
My life is what it is and it’s pretty great!!
Have your dreams come true?